The further in you get, the bigger and greener it is.– Some survivalist guy.
We all joined this band because we love playing dragon tunes!– Marky Mark
You know what would be a blast? Laying out in the sun for thirty years until...– Anyone who’s ever willingly moved to Florida, ever.
Man, it is just so chilly and dry out.– No one in Florida, ever.
Florida smells like sulfur and baby shampoo. I...
Also I think some crazy old guy at the gas station started trying to hit on me. Something about not liking females but wanting to start a family. He also stared me directly in the eye the whole time.
I'm not sure if they have internet where I'm...
I’ve noticed a few ants in my room lately. So, I looked around wondering where they were leaking in from. I found a good handful scuttling about on my windowsill. Guess where they were taking up house? In my copy of The Book Of Mormon. So I did what any responsible atheist would do. I killed them with rum.
Getting on a plane tonight for the first time...
Got my fingers crossed for a cavity search.
shanemorris-deactivated20130106 asked: Dats wut i be telln dem hoez. dem faggts aint lyke me. dem glitter blood niggas r soft. dem soft lyke baby thighs, nahmean?
"Pumpkin, you're dating a tumbling, tumbling dick...
truthsofmyyouth asked: tell me about yourself, handsome.